Crossdresser Resources

Useful information for transgendered girls

About Crossdressing

This section describes some of the theories I have on crossdressing and transgender issues. While I am by no means a “professional”, I do have a Masters in Biochemistry, practical and classroom experience in Psychology, and of course, I’ve been crossdressing since I was 8. I hope this will be helpful both for crossdressers who are feeling insecure as well as for those who know crossdressers.


Crossdressing, quite simply, is the act of wearing clothes that are typically reserved for the opposite gender. It is most commonly used to refer to males dressing in female clothing, though technically speaking it could also refer to females dressing in male clothing. Personally I find this to be quite a double standard, as a female wearing male clothing is perfectly acceptable in today’s society, though an argument can be made that the intent is often different. This site deals primarily with males dressing as females because that’s what I have experience with.


I want to be clear at this point that crossdressing is not necessarily done for the purpose of sexual pleasure, it does not make one homosexual, bisexual, or transexual, and I do not know of anywhere that it is against the law. Of course I don’t necessarily recommend crossdressing in public without appropriate caution, but it is not illegal.


It is interesting to note that crossdressing is ENTIRELY a social construction. Men in the renaissance wore tights. The traditional Scotish kilt is a skirt. The Greek toga is essentially a dress. Yet today if a male walked down the street wearing the modern day equivalent of these garments we would be appaled. Which brings us to our next topic.


Crossdressers fall into roughly three categories. 1) Those who merely enjoy the look or feel of womens’ clothing. 2) Those who wish they were female (at least to some extent). 3) Those who are sexually aroused by the look or feel of womens’ clothing. I find that all three of these designations are true for me, depending on what day you ask me.


The first category of crossdressers has nothing at all to do with sex or sexuality. Anyone can enjoy the look or feel of a particular fabric or article of clothing. I frequently wear women’s socks for the simple reason that they are softer and stay up better. In the winter I wear tights to work under my dress pants to keep warm. At the end of a long day I will come home and put on women’s pj’s because they are comfortable and make me feel relaxed. While I’m sure socially that makes me strange, it certainly says nothing about my sexuality. Just that I enjoy being comfortable.


The second category of crossdressers obviously deals with sexuality but is not related to sexual preference. Please do not confuse the two – just because a man wishes he were a female, even if he wishes he were a straight female, does not make him homosexual. Personally I feel that I would fit into society much better if I had been born female. And to be honest I firmly believe that I have more estrogen than testosterone in me (by the way, hormone levels are heavily influenced by what sex you are but have nothing to do with determining your sex). I also am fairly certain that if I HAD been born female, I would be attracted to males. But as it stands now, I really have no desire for a relationship with another man. I am definitely bisexual, but when it comes to a relationship or anything long-term I prefer the company of females. Other crossdressers may wish they were female, but believe that they would be lesbian. For a long time I thought this was the case with me, however, it turned out to be just another social construction – I was afraid to think that I might like another man.


The third category of crossdressers deals strictly with sex. For these crossdressers, dressing up is really just a role-play. They can be heterosexual or homosexual (ie their choice in partner doesn’t make a difference here), but for whatever reason they really enjoy pretending to be female while having sex. Honestly, you have to admit this is considerably less “wierd” than say autoasphyxiation or having a rape fantasy. Don’t get me wrong though, I can justify any one of these fantasies based on biochemical responses. Sexual crossdressing is largely done for the look and feel of female clothing, just adding to the sensory effect of the act. This is likely in combination with some desire to play a passive (ie traditionally female) role in the sex act. As for autoasphyxiation and rape, both are attempts to simulate a loss of control . . . and wouldn’t you know, sex – and orgasm in particular – is one of the few times when the human brain looses control of the body and instincts take over. In the case of orgasm, there is complete loss of concious muscular control – the body is on autopilot, short-circuting higher brain function. Thus autoasphyxiation and rape fantasies are both attempts to prolong the natural loss of control, or at least to build it up during foreplay.


A sub-category among sexually-oriented crossdressers are people who try to create a “perfect woman”. I guess this doesn’t have to be related to sex, but I’d be willing to bet it usually is. The role of women in society has changed dramaticly over the years. From cave-women (or animals, to go back further) who were likely just objects for procreation and taking out the basest instincts we have, to the renaisance or victorian princess who was something to be put on a pedastool and worshiped, to the modern working woman, roles have definitely changed. I don’t have a problem with this change, but from time to time it’s fun to imagine how life used to be. Or how I WOULD act if I were female. Or how I WISH my significant other behaved on a daily basis. It’s a fantasy, just like any other. I could go on, but I think it’s time for our next topic.


Being transgendered and crossdressing are often related, but are by no means the same thing. People who are transgendered either feel that they should be the opposite gender, or through surgery or nature have anatomical parts belonging to the opposite gender. And yes, this can happen through nature believe it or not. When a sperm or egg’s chromosomes split incorrectly during formation, a fetus can be created which has traits of both genders. This is a seriously debilitating medical condition and I will not be dealing with this topic here. Nature can also create transgendered individuals, however, when certain gender-determining genes get activated incorrectly in the womb. These individuals are obviously of one gender or the other based on their chromosomal make-up (the “true” determinate of gender), but can have certain features of the opposite gender. It is actually surprisingly common. Hospitals at birth assign these individuals a gender (traditionally based on which gender traits are most prominent, prior to modern understanding of chromosomes and developmental biology), and most of these people never know what happened. Sometimes, however, it becomes obvious that the chromosomally wrong gender was assigned.


Very less severe than the above cases are individuals like myself who feel that they fit in better with the opposite gender. This can either be psychological or physiological. Just as early (developmental) gender-determining genes can be incorrectly activated, later gender-affecting genes that determine pubescent and adult hormone balances can also suffer the same problem. The cause can be either genetic or environmental. It is more or less impossible to determine the true basis (psychological or physiological) for these types of transgendered individuals, assuming there is not an extreme hormonal imbalance. Such hormonal imbalances result in numerous medical complications far beyond feeling sexually and socially insecure, so please consult your doctor if you suspect a serious condition.


Transgendered people span a wide range of, well . . . embodiments. I am certain most transgendered people actually lead normal lives as either males or females never knowing the difference. For those of us who are concious of our state, we can also lead normal lives as males or females. And yes, normal includes both heterosexual and homosexual, it really doesn’t matter. Leading a completely non-transgendered life can be incredibly stressful on an individual who is aware of the fact though. Most of us who are aware at the very least crossdress or role-play from time to time, or possibly frequently.


Those who wish to join the opposite gender as a full time lifestyle typically are refered to as tranSEXUAL in addition to transgendered. Transexuals need not have any type of operation or physical change to their body, it merely reflects the fact that they live their lives as a member of the opposite genderx. Many transexuals opt to have physical changes made to their bodies so that they fit in better. The most obvious change is complete gender reassignment surgery. While quite expensive, gender reassignment has advanced immensly in recent years, and post-operative transexuals are indistinguishable from normal members of the opposite gender. This operation does not come without a cost, however. As a result of the procedure, post-operative transexuals are no longer able to experience the physiological aspects of sex and orgasm. Some advances are actually being made here, but generally speaking the genitals are largely non-functional. This is why some transexuals opt to have only the more superficial surgeries done – breast implants, hair removal, facial plastic surgery, etc. This leaves the genitals intact and functional, though obviously could compromise one’s sex life in other ways.


To be honest there is no test. Well, assuming you were assigned the correct gender at birth. If you are truely concerned that you were assigned the incorrect gender, talk to your doctor as there is a very simple way to determine this from a blood test. I will tell you upfront that it is rather unlikely though.


So, that case aside, if you are currently wondering if you are transgendered, you probably are. Please, don’t freak out and go do something crazy. Read on.


Gender as we understand it in a societal context is a continum. Most people are obviously either male or female based on their chromosomes and their anatomy, but beyond this gender is very vague. The chemicals (hormones) that make females act, think, and interact like females are also present in males (at lower concentration usually). The chemicals that make males act, think, and interact like males are also present in females. The social understanding of what creates gender on the surface is entirely based on the ratio of “male chemicals” to “female chemicals”. It is entirely possible, and actually quite common, for a member of one gender from an anatomical standpoint to have a biochemical balance closer to the opposite gender.


Anyone with a biochemical balance less than “100%” male or female is thus transgendered. In fact, an arguement could be made that EVERYONE is transgendered since everyone requires some amount of the opposite gender’s chemicals to survive. For social purposes, anyone who feels that they relate more to the opposite gender or maybe feels uncomfortable with peers of their own gender is transgendered to some degree.


Being transgendered does not mean you have to get a sex change, and it does not even mean you should start crossdressing or experimenting. It means you should recognize that there are aspects of the opposite gender in you, and you should do whatever feels right (even if that’s nothing) with those aspects. It also means you should respect those of us who choose to take action on our transgendered aspects in whatever degree we feel is right.


There are both many degrees of transgenderism as well as many embodiments. For you it may mean that you no longer feel obligated to watch football because the other guys do. Or it may be that you want to try out crossdressing discretely in the privacy of your own home. Maybe you want to try an amateur crossdressing night at a club. Or maybe you really feel that you should be a member of the opposite gender and begin living your life as a female. Maybe you eventually have gender reassignment surgery, maybe you don’t. Any of the above can lead to a thouroughly fulfilling life as long it’s what you really want.


As mentioned above, PLEASE be supportive and understanding. It is not easy for anyone to admit that they are transgendered to themselves, let alone tell someone else. Remember that most if not all of the human population is transgendered to some degree even if most people feel reasonably comfortable with their anatomical gender. There is nothing wrong with a transgendered person, and it cannot be fixed (nor should it be!).


Most transgendered people will be happy continuing to spend most of their time playing the role of their anatomical gender. If you are in a trusting relationship with a transgendered person, letting them borrow your clothes or going shopping with them can help them make a huge step in discovering who they really are. They may find that they enjoy crossdressing, and you might be surprised and enjoy it as well. Or they might be greatful for the opportunity, but decide crossdressing is not for them. In any event the odds are that normal life will continue as usual.


If you do find yourself dealing with someone who is serious about making a life change, PLEASE be supportive and understanding. From personal experience, the most important thing in the world to a transgendered person is knowing that their friends and loved ones will remain their friends and loved ones no matter what choice they make.

Posted by: admin | Category: | Comments (9)

9 Responses to “About Crossdressing”

  1. Crossdresser Resources » Shopping: Every CD’s Biggest Fear Says:

    [...] information for transgendered girls About MeClothing BasicsStyle GlossaryWhy We Dress December 31, 2008 / [...]

  2. carrie Says:

    Katie, I was just re-reading some stuff on your website. Actually in Columbus, OH Where I live cross dressing is illegal. The law is not enforced but can be used if need be. Scary Huh? Although if you change your gender marker on your drivers license then there is no law being broken.

  3. admin Says:

    Hey Carrie, thanks for sharing! I will remember not to crossdress in Columbus . . .

    Actually though I should probably clarify my statement. It is usually not illegal to wear clothing that is generally considered to be intended for the opposite gender (literally, crossdressing). In most places though, it *is* illegal to try and pass for the opposite gender (using opposite gender restrooms, lying to a cop about your biological gender, etc). I don’t know for sure, but I’d bet that’s the case in Columbus . . . though there are certainly plenty of strange laws out there, and you may be right that it is technically illegal to even crossdress some places.

  4. Psy Says:

    I live in the UK & I’d like to thank you for this very clear information as I have recently found out that I’m transgendered. It really helps to put it all into perspective & makes me feel less of a freak & also that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. The UK has a lot less understanding in this area so again I thank you! >_O

  5. admin Says:

    Hey Psy, glad I could help :) I’ve actually heard the UK is more accepting of crossdressing than the US, but I’ve never been there so I don’t really know what it’s like.

  6. Trudy Says:

    I have just come across your website and it’s a great resource so thank you. I am also from the UK and have been dressing since the age of 4 and regularly (about twice a week) go out and about in public to shops, restaurants, theatres etc. and have never, ever, encountered a problem. I believe the UK is more tolerant as well, at least judging by what my many American frinds tell me. It is also perfectly legal to use female public restrooms in the uk, the only problem could possibly be if you were ‘causing a breach of the peace’ but again I have never encountered a problem.

  7. admin Says:

    Hey Trudy, glad you’re finding the site useful! Yes, from what I understand people in the UK are much more open about crossdressing than in the US.

  8. sophie Says:

    great website!
    you have some great advise…. sensible

    thank you for taking the time ..


  9. AnonymousX Says:

    Hi :)

    I live in Iran and I want to be a crossdresser , but Iran’s culture don’t accept crossdressing :|

    Thank u :)

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