Shopping: Every CD’s Biggest Fear
Finally you’ve admitted that you are a crossdresser (at least to yourself), and you’re OK with that. If not, you should probably be reading my “why we dress” page. But assuming that you’re OK with it . . . what happens now? Well you’re not much of a crossdresser if you don’t have any clothes to wear, and you can’t keep “borrowing” your mom’s or your sister’s stuff forever! If you’re lucky enough to have a supportive girlfriend or wife who happens to be the same size as you, you might be able to borrow forever, but wouldn’t you still like to have your own stuff? Your own style? And then there’s always the possibility one of you will put on a little more weight than the other, or worse yet a breakup or divorce. Convinced having some clothes of your own is a good idea, but don’t know how to aquire them without embarassment? Then read on!
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Ok, first thing’s first, you need to know what you’re looking for. If you’re not sure yet, or don’t know the difference between Juniors, Misses, and Womens clothing, check out the “clothing basics” page for more information on finding the right size and style.
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Now that you have a basic idea of what you’re looking for, you have to pick a store (or stores). PLEASE save yourself the trouble and do NOT go to WalMart, Target, Meijers, etc looking for clothes unless you are looking for one of the following items: Playtex bras (Playtex “18 Hour” bras are wonderful full coverage bras, but don’t expect anything cute!), low quality (cheap) pantyhose, cute socks (Target only for socks in my experience), or makeup. I know, I know, everyone thinks that if they go to WalMart, fill their cart with mundane groceries, and toss in a random dress or pair of pantyhose, the cashier won’t notice. Not true! I have gotten just as many (if not more) strange looks doing this as when I walk up to a register at Forever 21 in the mall. Actually, it seems that the large pile of groceries just attracts extra attention to the out-of-place article of clothing. So don’t waste your time and money with mass merchandise clothing – it’s generally ends up being absolutely hideous, and you deserve better! And by the way, after many MANY strange looks at stores, I have never once had a cashier question me about my purchase or refuse a sale. So relax.
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If you are looking for Juniors clothing, DO visit mall stores. Deb, Forever 21, Charlette Russe, Hot Topic (if you’re looking for goth), and even department stores (excluding Sears) offer amazing deals because Juniors fashion is trendy and thus goes out of style about every month. So walk in, make a bee-line for the back of the store, smile and nod at the irritating salesgirl, and find the clearance rack. Remember, the salesclerks usually either work on commission of some sort or don’t care about much about thier job, which means that if you’re browsing the clearance, you’re not worth their time no matter how out of place you look. Not to mention that if YOU fit into Juniors clothing, you can probably claim that you’re shopping for your girlfriend without anyone being suspicious. If you do shop in trendy mall stores though, you WILL have to deal with a teenage cashier. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but if that makes you terribly uncomfortable, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Personally, I think it’s worth it because there is no other type of store where I can pick up a cute shirt or skirt for under $5 almost every time I walk in.
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If the teenage cashier scares you, department stores are still an option. Again, head to the back or edges of the department, that’s where the good clearance deals usually are. Department store employees usually also work on commission, and if you check out in the men’s department with an armfull of Juniors clothing, you will probably get funny looks. On the other hand, if you have items from a couple different departments and checkout at a register that is near an exit from the store, no one will think twice. Your best bet, since you usually will have a choice of cashiers at a department store, is to find a middle-aged female. Teenagers can be a bit intimidating and aren’t afraid to analyze your purchase, older employees are more likely to try and start a conversation (though they will likely think nothing of it, it can still make for an uncomfortable situation). Male sales associates are more likely to be judgemental than females. Just my experience.
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If all of this still makes you too nervous, don’t worry! There is always internet shopping. If for some reason you don’t trust internet shopping, are worried about identity theft, etc, here is a little story for you. I have been shopping online regularly for about 10 years now, long before the internet was as secure as it is today. I have made purchases from some pretty shady vendors including porn sites with questionable content, Ebay sellers with poor ratings, etc. I typically spent more money in online purchases than I do in actual stores in a given year. In all this time, the only purchase security issue I have ever run into was at a physical store (DSW Shoes, if you want to know, apparently someone was dumpster diving for credit card reciepts). Not a single issue with online purchases. Ever.
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Ok, that said, there are some items to be aware of with internet shopping. First of all, it is very difficult to select the right size for clothing, or color for makeup. And returns are a pain in the butt. Remember that free shipping deal you found? Well it isn’t free to return. So just make sure you’ve researched your purchase either online or in-store, know what you’re buying, and know your size. Maybe not very helpful for a very first purchase, but assuming you’ve actually tried on some female clothing at this point in your life, the internet can be a great friend. Still don’t know where to shop? Here are some online retailers that I have had great experiences with. And I have honestly bought things from each of these stores and been very happy. None of them are paying me to be listed here.
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Sock Dreams.com – Sock Dreams is my favorite store ever because they specialize in my favorite article of clothing – socks! They are also CD friendly, and have amazing customer service. I’ve sent them several emails, and asked them permission to display their banner on my crossdressing site because I was so excited by my purchases from them. They also offer exceptionally detailed and useful reviews of their products, and lots of unique items you can’t find anywhere else.
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Amazon.com – Yes, believe it or not, Amazon is great for everyday crossdressing items. They carry basic lingerie and intimate apparel (for example the Playtex 18 hour bra), though I wouldn’t depend on them for anything exotic. They also have a good selection of personal care items (for example Aveeno Positively Smooth Shave Reducing Lotion, or Aveeno Positively Smooth Shave Reducing Shaving Gel, or Nads XFol Follicle Release Scrub, etc). Often the prices are better than stores, and you can get hard-to-find items. The three I listed above I consider to be absolute essentials for shaving, but are nearly impossible to find in stores. Also, in spite of Amazon’s use of cookies to track your purchases, favorite items, etc . . . the company is far too large to bother looking at your individual information.
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Snaz75.com – Snaz75 is definitely the best place to find great deals on sexy shoes and boots. Their clearance section is massive, the only drawback is the poor organization. Oh well, the prices and selection are fantastic. Shipping is discrete and timely, and I have ordered from them numerous times.
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GlamourBoutique.com – GlamourBoutique’s site might not be much to look at, but they are tailored specificly to crossdressers, are friendly, and ship discretely. I’ve ordered from them once (and this was when they still just had an email form online and hand processed the orders!) and the entire process was lightning fast. They are serious about trying to make the purchase experience pleasant. I might not have bought from them if I just browsed to their site because it doesn’t look very professional, but they came highly recommended so I gave it a try. I suggest you do as well, as my purchase was WELL worth it.
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HotLookz.com – HotLookz is an interesting site with some more exotic intimate items. I’ve only purchased from them once, but it was a very smooth transaction
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XDress.com – XDress is a rather interesting site focused on selling panties and lingerie to men. They appear to cater to genderstraight individuals, but the panties and lingerie they carry are mostly very feminine with a handful of items that might come in handy if you’re a male stripper too. The best part about this site, however, is that they offer their items in clearly male sizes! And that’s enough to make any crossdresser happy The site is US-based, though I’ve not ordered from them yet. Let me know how it goes if you give them a try. Discover a diverse collection of underwear, like men’s panties at XDress.
Tags: clothes, shopping —
January 19th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
My favorite shoe site is dreamshoes http://www.shoesofyourdreams.com, for mid to high heels and ballet flats. They carry up to size 16 and some are even in men’s size. Great service, and CD friendly.
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:11 pm
On the other hand, this is America and money is money –
Those salesgirls who work on comission, I have found, are usually extremely helpful and often understand you don’t want to be gawked at by other customers etc.
I have on several occasions ended up with the salesgal being helpful to the point of suggesting flattering items and bringing me them in the dressing room!
Be brave.
March 4th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Hey, good point Brielle. It’s always worth a try if you’re brave enough to do it, especially if you know the salespeople work on commission
September 17th, 2011 at 9:21 am
I noticed you mentioned that Target is only good for socks, but to be honest, there’s a lot of merchandise that Target carries that’s really comfortable and affordable. Perhaps they’ve added it since you had written this article.
Here’s some boyshorts and hipsters that are about $7 for a 5-packs. Nice and simple, with one patterned design per pack.
http://tinyurl.com/3cwsh5q
The hipsters on the right are far more comfortable (the fabric is a bit thicker), and they have a fairly wide crotch, which tends to work well with tucking. I have a 28-inch waist, so I got a size 8 pair, but I think a size 6 would do better to keep my nads from descending out of my abdomen, so I usually just get a pair of size 6s, and put on a pair, and then just put on the hipsters.
Try going through anything from their ‘Xhilaration’ line, as there’s a lot of cute prints on panties, hipsters, and tankinis that they offer, and they cost about $5 per pair.
I work there, so I get %10 off everything, plus an additional %5 with a redcard.
For casual clothing, you might try their Merona clothing line. They have some really comfy jeans and turtlenecks I got there recently. :3
September 17th, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Thanks Monkeymook, that’s a good point – Target does have some stuff other than socks that are a good deal for crossdressers. Much of it doesn’t fit my personal style, but if you look around a bit there is a lot of great clothing for sale Thanks for the details, I’m sure many of us will find that information helpful!
July 22nd, 2013 at 2:58 pm
This is an awesome Article. I really love it. How ever I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts for 15+ years and have never been embarrassed by buying a top or a skirt. I’m lucky however to my build is more feminine then masculine. People used to call me girl in school and buy high school I got tired of it and started wearing dresses and skirts, and tops. Next thing I know i’m getting asked out by boyish girls all time. I have natural long wavy curly hair wide hips 28 inch waist, and 34b chest, at 165lbs due to my testosterone deficiency. With those types of features and perhaps my feminine finesse and elegance. I cant think of 1 instance where I was put on the spot or even glared at by a store clerk. So my food for thought. Don’t walk into a store with old spice caked on or a massive beard looking for a skirt. If your going to dress nice act nice, Look nice, and be professional. Fyi I love your make up techs. Ive had lots of girl friends show me makeup but you reall help a lot. Perhaps ill use some of those techniques and show them to my friends. Very awsome site.
Fyi
I play Roller Derby with the local Salina Sirens. Im part of the team on the roster and have been practicing for 2 years. I wear a skirts, tops, sports bra “kinda neeeded with my build”, fishnets, and the works, About as scanky as I would ever ever dress and never dress that way in public unless it was for a fund raiser. The two years ive been doing it. Not 1 time has some one been mean, Nasty, or Ugly. Kansas
The world is changing.
July 22nd, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Hey LingXioayu, thanks for the comments! I really hope you’re right about the world changing But even if the world is starting to accept crossdressers, I don’t think most crossdressers are lucky to be as self confident as you are. But who knows. I’ll be a happy gurl if my article becomes obsolete on account of it being normal for a guy to walk in to a store and buy a skirt