For many tgirls, nail polish is one of their first forays into the mysterious world of makeup. Painted toenails can remain hidden under socks and shoes, so it’s safe. And I’ve known a lot of genetic girls who have a fascination with painting guys nails . . . so you can always claim your girlfriend did it to you! Not to mention nail polish remover is easy to come by and useful for lots of stuff, so there’s not too much worry about how to get it off.

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But for some reason, making your painted nails look good is nearly impossible! And if you’ve got it down perfect, you’re probably in the minority. What’s so hard about it? Well first, to paint your right nails you have to do it with your left hand (or vice versa if you’re left handed) so you have to learn to be a little ambidextrous. And it’s not like coloring . . . it’s more like painting! But seriously, the more strokes you take, the worse it looks, just like if you’re painting a wall or a barn or whatever it is that tgirls might paint.

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Don’t fret though, I have tips for you! First, buy decent nail polish. I know I say this all the time, but it’s really true – if you get the $1 bottle that’s been sitting in the discount bin for a couple years, it will be like painting with snot And nailpolish is the most likely of all your makeups to go bad – if it starts getting tacky, get rid of it!

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Next, store your nailpolish in the fridge – this limits the evaporation (keeps longer) and makes it spread/coat easier. Sort of like adding reversible paint thinner

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Be aware that there are a couple different types of nail polish – some are thinner and runnier, some are thicker. The thicker stuff usually gives a brighter color in a single coat, but it’s also more difficult to avoid streaks. There is some really great runny nail polish out there that still gives saturated colors. But unfortunately no one labels nailpolish as to how runny it is – you just have to try a few. There’s also regular nailpolish and quickdry. Personally I don’t see much difference between them though, and any more most nail polish in the store is actually quick dry.

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Ok, when you get your nail polish out to paint your nails, don’t shake it. What Yes, you heard me, don’t shake it. Instead, roll it back and forth between your hands. You know, like your back in gradeschool making a clay snake. Do it fast because you want to mix it up, but the idea is to avoid introducing air bubbles which make a mess on your nails.

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Now that you’re ready to apply your nail polish, pull the brush out running one of the flat sides along the edge of the bottle to wipe off pretty much all of the polish on that side. Then touch the paint coated side of the brush against the side of the bottle too so that you dab off about half of the drop of polish. That should be about the amount of nail polish you’ll want to do a single nail, though obviously it varies with the size of your nails, which nail you are painting, etc.

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Start with a stroke down the very center of your nail, from cuticle to tip. Be careful lining things up when you put the brush down and pull it back up at the end of the stroke, but apply enough pressure that the bristles fan out a bit. One stroke only down the center! Then go back and take a single stroke down each side of the nail, slightly overlapping the center stroke. Then you’re done. Don’t touch it again The only exception is if you have some rough edges at the tip of your nail, you can run the edge of the brush (not the tip!) over those to fill them in. If you’re not satisfied, forget about it for the moment, do the rest of your nails, let them dry (completely!), and add a second coat to fill in.

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If you get a little sloppy with your nail polish, the most amazing thing to remove the excess is . . . a fingernail. Seriously, take the tip of another nail (preferably on the opposite hand, and one that hasn’t been painted yet if you have the option ) and scrape off the excess while it’s still wet. If you *really* make a mess, you can always put some nail polish remover on a tissue or makeup wipe and get it that way.

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Speaking of nailpolish remover. I always go with the hardcore full acetone formula. Because my biggest concern is making sure that I get all of the polish off. I don’t use it often enough to justify needing a less harsh chemical (ie an acetone free version). Plain old non-frilly nailpolish remover is the most effective, and the cheapest. So I’d recommend that unless you have some special needs. And in a pinch, use paint thinner or household acetone.

So you’ve got the foundation, you’ve done your eyes, and now you just need to figure out what to do with your lips. No problem, this is the easiest step of them all! Soon you’ll be strutting down the street like a professional crossdresser Or at least strutting around your bedroom with a pretty face.

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Ok, down to business. Your lips need 3 things. Lipstick, and . . . and . . . At a loss for the other items? That’s what I was afraid of. If you’ve ever wondered why your lipstick always looks smudged or crooked, or why it looks rough or splotchy . . . it’s because you’re missing two very important steps!

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First thing’s first, keep your lips moisturized. Buy chapstick and use it! Just your everyday Blistex or Vaseline lip stuff for everyday when you’re not crossdressing. If you have dry lips, the cracked skin will catch on your lipstick and peel off chunks of color, making your lips look rough and splotchy. You may also want gloss to put on over your lipstick depending on what kind you’re using – gloss is really just chapstick for girls, keeping your lips moisturized and making them shiny. Sometimes it has a little color too, but usually not much. Not suitable for your every day stuff, or you might get some strange looks.

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Ok, the second item you need is lip liner. This looks like eyeliner (and really is the same stuff, just in different colors), and is a heavier makeup than your lipstick. It will do 2 things for you – help define your lips, and prevent your lipstick from smearing. “Normally” you would pick a lip liner that matches your lipstick color, but you can get some neat effects by pairing a lighter color (ie pink with red lipstick) or a darker color (ie maroon with red lipstick). Just experiment, as long as the colors compliment eachother.

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Now you’re ready to actually put your makeup on. Start with the lip liner and outline your lips. Be really careful with this step as it’s easy to make things lopsided. You want to trace the edge of where your pinkish lip color fades into your regular skin color. Err to the inside unless you have really thin lips, and make sure you have a constant and smooth stroke width. The lines for your upper lip and lower lip should meet at the corners of your mouth, but should not really be connected. And your upper lip has a little “divot” in the middle, so make sure you trace down into that. If you don’t have a divot, or have a really small one, exaggerate a little.

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Ok, now get out the lipstick and fill in your outline. You don’t want to put lipstick overtop the lip liner, so stay inside the lines! I keep the point of my lipstick up because I want a fine point to trace the edge of my thinner upper lip as the wider portion of the lipstick fills in below, and then on my lower lip I don’t need fine control along the bottom edge and it just feels more comfortable. Anyway, don’t fuss about filling everything in or getting right to the edge. Just put it on inside the lip liner outline, a little heavier than you think you need to.

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Now squish your lips together (with your lip muscles, not your fingers!) and move your upper and lower lips against eachother both in and out and side to side. The idea here is to spread the lipstick around evenly, so don’t go to extremes and spread it off your lips, but you can be fairly aggressive about it. I don’t know why it works, but your lips seem to naturally stop against eachother just right to spread the lipstick everywhere. If you do get a little carried away, use your fingernail to scrape away lipstick in places where you don’t want it.

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Ok, last step, add some gloss. And now you’ve got crossdresser lips the gg’s can drool over